My Dad, My Father & My Heavenly Father Pt.2 + 2.5

Before I begin:

Let me just start by saying HOLY COW! and THANK YOU!

I can’t believe the thousands of you that this story has reached. It’s amazing and comforting to know that I am not alone in this journey.
I have been hearing from so many of you guys how you didn’t realize how much you needed someone like me to open up about this topic until you saw my video.
Well here’s the thing… I had no idea how much I needed YOU until I opened up… I didn’t realize I was alone until I got all of your messages of similar stories. It has been amazing to connect with so many just like me.

So who’s ready for part 2! Let’s go.

Part 2

“What happened to the dad who raised you?”

I’m going to be completely honest with you… This is not a part of my story I want to talk about. Not because I don’t want to tell you, but because it hurts and it doesn’t apply to this story much… which is unfortunate. It’s a story of its own.

BUT

I’m going to give a brief bit of it because its probably the number 1 asked question and I know its a big curiosity!
I won’t elaborate on this subject anymore than I’m about to.
So here I go:

My dad (I still call him my dad because he IS) and I have not had a relationship since I was in high school… LONG before I found out about my bio dad. It had nothing to do with that. There are many MANY reasons why… But I’ll keep it short and sweet to not dig up old wounds…

My dad is a HARD working man and I love that about him. I literally have SO MUCH respect for him raising me, another mans child, by choice. He taught me everything I know, and I owe a lot of my random trades to him. He made me the tough, driven, hard working woman that I am today! Unfortunately there is a “but” here…
But… We never got along. We never saw eye-to-eye. And there were times when the line was severely crossed….
He never understood me. Which didn’t help with my always feeling like the black sheep of the family. So we lost our relationship when I turned 18.
After graduation, I was walking a path in life that he didn’t agree with; following Jesus and doing missionary work, for absolutely no money, instead of going to college… And even after we went our separate ways, he didn’t hesitate to let me know that I was doing the wrong thing with my life… And unfortunately we haven’t spoken since.

And I’m just going to leave it at that… because thats the truth.

Part 2.5

“Before finding out, did you ever have suspicions?”

This is tough because at times I feel like “yeah I totally felt like I had suspicions.” But I can’t tell if those were suspicions, or just the feelings of never quite fitting in anywhere.

It does’t help that I was teased a lot as a kid, always in a joking and playful way by friends and family. (never intentionally to hurt me.)
However, it did hurt for some reason… and that is where I feel like the suspicious feeling comes in.

I have always had hooded eyes. Or as others might call it “asian eyes”. When I was in middle school and high school, people would always always say things like “You must be adopted…” and “Maybe you have a different dad! haha how crazy would that be.” and often responses like “No way, that’s your sister!? She’s like blonde with blue eyes!” or “Where did you even come from? You don’t look anything like your siblings.”

As harmless as those little questions or statements were, they felt like tiny daggers in a hole I somehow already had in my heart.
I often would internally step back and think “well… am I adopted? They aren’t wrong… Is it possible?” But I’d shove it down and move on.

So I guess, on some level, I did have suspicions.
But holy cow, when I found out about my biological dad, and ALLLLLLLL of those weird little questions and statements from friends and strangers suddenly becoming TRUE…. that feeling of answered wonders was like nothing I’ve felt before. I felt Instant placement.
Those things I always wondered were finally over. They finally had answers I didn’t realize I needed.

The first time I met my biological dad, I posted a picture on Instagram of us side by side, and a close friend of mine left a comment that said the words I wasn’t quite able to form just yet: